Hello Gorgeous!

I’ve been listening to Barbra Streisand’s recent (and very long!) memoir as I walk the dog. I have been a fan of hers since my 14^th birthday party, when, after the obligatory cake and ice cream, my friends and I saw her in the movie “Funny Girl”. Since then I may have seen the movie more than once. Okay, I’ve seen it countless times and can pretty much sing every song, complete with her inflections and facial expressions (“I’ve got 36 expressions, sweet as pie and tough as leath-ah..”). So, naturally, once I got through the book chapter on “Funny Girl”, I then had to rewatch the movie. And yes, I still knew it all. But, something else happened – I saw it through different eyes.

When I was an impressionable teen, I thought Barbra, as Fanny Brice, was so cool, so mature (“Hello Gorgeous…”). I had a cousin who was 19 years old at the time, and right up there in the coolness category. She wore her hair like Barbra, and she’d even seen the Beatles in concert! I mean….  Something for me to strive for.

But this time, watching the movie with a few decades of experience behind me, I saw how young Barbra/Fanny was. And impressionable. Just like Fanny, I would have TOTALLY swooned over Nick Arnstein. (“Nicky Arnstein, Nicky Arnstein, what a beautiful, beautiful name…”). This time as I watched, even my obsession for him changed. I realized, for maybe the 1^st time, that Nick told Fanny from the very first encounter who he was. And what did she do? Fell head over heels for Mr. Ruffled Shirt. A gambler? How bad could it be? Want to be the one in control of the relationship? Sure, whatever you want! Have a tendency to like wine, women and gambling? What does that matter? I’ll change him. Love will win the day.

Yep. I had bought into it hook, line, and sinker. My past is littered with Nick Arnsteins. And now I can finally see why. I was very much looking outside of myself for approval, for love, for excitement.

I am so grateful to have moved beyond that. My work in the past few years has been to become completely comfortable in my own skin. To know who I really am – and to love and accept ALL of me. Because I am Worthy. And a lot of fun.

What I’ve realized is there are a few basic steps that are key to knowing what works and doesn’t work for you. The first is identifying your values. What is important to you, at your core? Is it Family? Honesty? Loyalty? If you’ve never written your values down and want to, click here and I’ll send you my activity form.

Next, write down next to those values the behaviors that exemplify them. If it is honesty, then “not lying” is the behavior. Loyalty? “Standing up for what you believe” in would be a behavior.

And lastly, take the time to realize that you are worth not only being with people who honor these values, but that YOU are worth being self-honoring of them.

What a gift to see through new eyes at any age! It is a reminder to me that life goes on, changing, expanding, enhancing – as long as you believe there is more for you to know and experience. And that you are WORTH the journey!

Oh, and if a gorgeous Nick Arnstein knocked on my door, I’d surely answer it. The difference now is that the barometer for my happiness is within, not outside myself. Even if he shows up in a ruffled shirt.

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